Tuesday, 1 July 2014

#RANT TIME | Are women their own worst enemies?

I just have to ask this question because i’m truly appalled at the way women ladies treat each other! We act like we are in a perpetual competition with each other, even with people you don’t know so well, total strangers too!………seriously, what gives?!

That’s how some time ago, i was at a cosmetics store to purchase some items when this lady walked in. She knew the store owner, and they chatted amicably. One story led to another, and the lady who came to pick up her body cream was narrating to the store owner about how one of her neighbors who wasn’t as well-to-do as she was ( i deduced that from the impression she gave while telling the story) asked her to please tell her the name of the body cream she uses. She laughed with the store owner, asking her how on earth she could be using the same body cream with that neighbor of hers…..she laughed again. She made it sound like an abomination, and i was cringing inwardly. If she had told her neighbor the name of her cream, and if her neighbor went ahead and bought it and used it too, would she die? As in would she perish?! What’s the deal?

Many women would rather have their finger nails broken one by one than assist their fellow woman…….tufiakwa! I remember when i was still preggers and the fuel scarcity was still on, the male fuel attendants were waaaay nicer to me than the ladies. I vividly remember one particular lady attendant who looked at me with disdain just because i asked her if i could see her manager so that i could plead with him to sell fuel to me. Yes, she ‘eyed’ me and my huge belly and didn’t even reply me at all. I only needed to see the manager because after waiting in line for about 3 hours, they suddenly announced that they were closing for the day…..and it was almost my turn oooooo! I wanted to sit on the floor and wail. That’s why i humbly went to the lady to ask to see the manager, and she eyed me with disdain and went to sit down without saying as much as one word to me. I’m sure that if there was yam water nearby, she would have poured it on me too…lool!

Someone said that women act that way towards one another out of jealousy. Regarding the fuel incident i mentioned above, someone reasoned that perhaps she was angry that i was preggers while she wasn’t even married, and i have a car while she still jumps buses so that’s why she chose to give me that icy treatment…..hmnnnnn….. i no sabi ooo!

The male fuel attendants treated me better. I remember queuing to buy fuel one particular day at MRS petrol station on 22 road, a fuel tanker was still discharging its contents, so we were all waiting on the queue. I think my car was like the 40th or so. I was chatting on my blackberry with a friend who suggested that if they refused to sell fuel to those with jerry-cans, i should come down from my car and go shove my pregnant belly in their faces (LMAO!). So when it actually looked like they wouldn’t sell to the jerry-can customers, i meekly got out of my car and went to meet one tall hausa guy i saw giving instructions. I greeted him and said:
“Please, i need to buy fuel in my jerry-cans”
Immediately this man saw me and my belly, his face looked like i had just confessed to homicide.
“Madam, what are you doing here?! Where is your car? Please go and drive in through the other gate. The tanker is still discharging, once they are done, we would sell to you”
Chei! My heart leapt for joy! I didn’t even have to say the speech i had prepared in my mind about how the weather was soo hot, how i had 2 other kids, and how i didn’t want us to die of heat…lool! I drove out of the queue and into the petrol station with immediate alacrity, and i was eventually the first person they sold to!

If the manager was a woman, she would have asked me pointedly if it was Jesus i was carrying in my womb. She would have told me that pregnancy wasn’t new under the sun, and eventually, they wouldn’t have sold to me. Lubbish!

This one is still very fresh in my memory, last Friday, i rushed down to Agboju market to buy stuff for the week. Zuri was asleep, and i asked my househelp to please keep an eye on her, but i knew that i still had to hurry ‘cos she's recently become picky about those that carry her. She doesn’t even let my househelp carry her…and if she does carry her, Zuri will cry non-stop. So bearing that in mind, i hurried with my shopping and was rushing home when two police women jumped in front of my car at Agboju junction, saying that i wasn’t wearing my seatbelt. She asked for my license, and i told her that it was in my purse which i forgot at home. They asked me to open the car and one of them entered. I explained to her why i was in a hurry, and i told her that i was worried about my baby at home, but this woman insisted that i drive down to the station to write statement (statement ndi mmuo, ko statement ndi mmadu?). I refused ooo. I pleaded and pleaded with her, but all my pleas fell on deaf ears. I even faked tears…..whoosai! I had no cash on me, but do you know that this woman made me part with my hard-earned 5k? What’s more…she followed me to the ATM too! The thing pained me ehn, but i had to settle her and go home ‘cos of Zuri. If not for my baby, i was prepared to follow her anywhere. If it was a police man that stopped me, he would have let me go since, but since women are usually wicked to each other, this lady held me ransom till i gave her 5k. Money that i would have used to buy 3 Ardell ‘whispies’ lashes. On my way home, my fake tears turned to real. Mtcheeew!

Women would never divulge truthful and helpful information to their fellow women. Are we our own worst enemies? I remember seeing a very beautiful picture of the job a colleague did on her client’s face, i pinged her asking her what foundation and eyebrow pencil she used, and do you know what she said? Lol!. Yes, that’s what she said…she said ’LOL!’. I was just perplexed.
Tara Fela-Durotoye once said “Girls compete with each other, women empower one another”. I totally agree with her.

If you are one of these women i’m talking about, then i feel so sorry for you. Why for heaven’s sake are you hoarding information? Do you want to use it to cook soup? What gives? Please be civil to your fellow women, empower each other, share information, help each other out. It wouldn’t kill you….rather, you’ll be the better for it.  As for me, i loooove to share information. If i discover something wonderful, i start itching to share immediately, no matter what it is.

Biko do you know why women are usually antagonistic towards each other? And are men also like that to each other? Pray….tell!
Besos Chicas.

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  1. Happy new month fine Woman....
    I pray that We'll find peace among the women-folk, less fear, more friendliness and open loving communications. Amen.

  2. I totally agree with u, ladies like to give each other attitude,but mayb dey prefer attending to guys,jst the way the male attend better to ladies

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  4. What would it profit a woman to do such things? For once, take joy in the fact that you helped someone. Good one Chinazor.


  5. Lol! Funny story teller.
    You are right o, mostly right, but looking at it from another view, mine.... I can be stingy with info on purpose.
    I don't like it when Girls walk up to you complement you, maybe the weavon you are carrying or the jeans you have on, "fine hair" I would smile and say thank you, then "what's the name" I would reply, then the one I don't like "how much did you get it"b I hate that and most times I would just say, it's a gift, yes! I lie like that a lot, I've told you the name, why not go ask for the price, I answer like that to all "how much did you get" because these girls like assessing someone, they see how beautiful u look and they start calculating everything you have on and meet you to confirm the price they have calculated.
    About the the fuel attendant and police that was just Frustration and wickedness, it might be the fuel attendant girl has been having a very lousy day and seeing a pregnant woman asking her questions just irritated her, the "lol" made me laugh too, maybe she felt like u were trying to assess her work or reproduce the look and she didn't want that, I'm guessing she a MUA too, and she sees you as competition, that's really shallow of her sha, considering how Most MUA now show off their skills and work online with videos at that.

  6. Women? me I prefer male friends anytime sef. Women are their worst enemies but God will continue to help us.

  7. True! I think it's more of insecurities though.

  8. True! I think it's more of insecurities though.

  9. Azor no vex for d police matter. Women I doubt if most of them will change because they always want all d attention. So I call it nzuzu. ( foolishness) God will help us.

  10. Azor no vex for d police matter. Women I doubt if most of them will change because they always want all d attention. So I call it nzuzu. ( foolishness) God will help us.

  11. This problem is with black women everywhere. Long time ago b4 google, I asked a restuarant owner how to cook fried rice......

    Hmmmm, let me just say that I am still scared to ask people questions. Thank God for Google.

  12. Pls I highly disagree with you madam. I just hate stereotyping. Why emphasize on 'women' when it doesn't apply to all women. Men also act like you have mentioneed above. Y not say 'the women you have met' Its like when some ppl make a statement like 'na wa for human beings' or 'human beings ehhh'. That's just ignorant cos you are also a human being and not void of those acts. I knew a lot of women will come here and support your story as if there friends don't complain same things about them? You broke a very strict road rule which is not wearing your seat belt and bcos you have a picky baby at home believe that you are entittled to be exempted? How ignorant. What if u had an accident and lost your life, what den becomes of your cute kids? So, let's stop feigning ignorant and do the right thing. Rules must be obeyed. Of cos I highly object bribery. You knew that the fuel station closed but cos you believe you are special in some way means that the lady attendant who might live 4 hrs away and hurrying to close and get back home was rude 2 u? I laff. I'm sure she would have behaved the same if it was a man my dear. She wasn't in the wrong, and yes pregnancy isn't an illness. The guy that saw your pregnant state and allowed you jump a queue disregarding the fact that another pregnant woman might have bn seating in her car before youpatiently waiting. You sided with the guy becos he let you get your way? Sorry to say but your rant is not well thot. Let's try doing the right things and stop all the women bashing and not having female friends. You attract what you are. And by the way, I'm a woman.

    1. Shut da f*ck up ma'am! It's women like you she talked about in this post. People like you act like they know it all and look down on others. You could have made your point easily witout condeming the writer and calling her ignorant. Why are you making silly excuses for the people in her story? While you were cooking up scenarios for the female fuel attendant, did it ever occur to you that you might be wrong? The other pregnant woman that you imagined was sitting in her car could have easily gone to ask for her own favor, but she chose to sit there. What wrong did the writer commit by trying to be exempted from the queue? I'm pretty sure that if your 'imaginary' pregnant woman had met the man, he would have favored her too!
      Sterotype or not, the painful truth remains that women are really mean to each other, sometimes brutally so! Your bitter and annoying comment laced with condemnation proves her right. Can you swear that you have never broken seatbelt rules before? Abeg park well with that your 'opinion'!

    2. I agree that women can sometimes be their own worst enemies. However, apart from the first example, the other stories are just examples of a woman trying to use the fact that she's a woman to bend the rules. Courtesy demands that pregnant women be given special preference but a broken rule is what it is: a broken rule. It is better to appeal to a person's humanity rather than try to feel entitled. Just because it's a woman that didn't let you get your way doesn't mean that she's doing it out of jealousy. If it was a man that refused, you'd call him wicked too, right? Same difference! Women, let's try not to fall into stereotypes. Also, please always wear your seatbelt especially when you're in a hurry.
      Great blog, by the way.

  13. Anon, this your comment sha. There's something wrong with it, but i can't place my finger on it.


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