Monday, 5 September 2016

Tales Of A Nigerian Mum | Zuri says the darndest things!

One of my favourite things about children is how they are effortlessly funny. They do and say the most hilarious things...and the best part is they do it innocently, totally oblivious of their comedian/comedienne characteristics. They would be dead serious while you are almost toppled over with laughter.

My Zuri is 2 years old, but i suspect she has the brain of a 6 years old child. I really don't know how she thinks up the things she says. Does she ponder over them for a while before saying them, or does she just blurt them out as they pop into her head? *looool*. Everyday, she cracks us up at home. Just a few incidences comes to mind right now.

Just the other day, their noise and antics were getting on my nerves, and i gave them a loud warning,

"Bia, i will beat somebody oh!"

And Zuri shouts back at me from the other room...

"Beat yourself!"

Seriously, this girl is just 2 years old.

Every morning, we have a fight about clothes. My cousin would dress her up in mufti for summer classes, and Zuriel will march into my room and declare,

"Mummy, i don't like this cloth!"

Sometimes, i just won't have the will-power in me to fight, and i'll let her have her way and pick out oddly matching clothes, and other times, i decide that she can't always have what she wants. So when i insist that she must wear the clothes i pick out, she starts making excuses,

"The cloth is kwaching me" * The cloth is scratching me*, or "This shirt is 'tighting' me". Sometimes she claims it's no longer her size! "Eeees not my size!".

One day, we were driving home from school, and off the top of her head Zuriel said to me from the back of the car,

"Mummy, buy a puppy for a goat for Dindu and Muwati" *She calls her sister Muwati*. It was sooooo funny! What on earth did she mean by that? Why would she want me to buy a goat for her siblings? Was that really off the top of her head or had she been thinking about it for some time?

She's so quick to say "Sowwy Mummy, i wee not do it again" when she does something bad and sees that i'm really upset. And sometimes, she just comes into my room and says "Sowwy Mummy, sowwy", and i wouldn't know why she's sorry until much later when i find what she's done.

Over the weekend, we went over to my parent's house for a sleep-over. That Saturday morning before we left, i tried to make them hurry up getting ready because it was environmental sanitation day, and i really wanted to beat the traffic that starts accumulating after 10am.

"Dindu, you need to hurry because we need to leave exactly at 10am ."

"Why?"  *That boy questions every single thing! Eissssh!*

"Well because there will be traffic after 10am, so i need us to leave by 10 am.... that way, we can beat the traffic". I explained.

Zuri stopped scribbling with her crayons, looked at me and said, "Nooooo mummy......don't beat it!"

"Don't beat what?" I was confused.

"Don't beat traffic" she said.

We all had a good laugh that morning....especially Dindu and Munachi *looool!*. Apparently, she thought i was going to beat/flog the traffic.

The day we were supposed to come back home, i reminded them of how the last time we went to Grandma's house, we were stuck in traffic for 3 i told them again that we had to leave early so that we don't get stuck in traffic again....

And out of nowhere, my tiny human said,

"Mummy, beat it"


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  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Helloooooo Sweety how time flies this kids amaziiiiiinnn how is bead biz Ness

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  4. Hahahahahaha. I can imagine.. Been watching kids say the darndest things online and its been so funny..


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  7. Hm, I wonder who she takes that from? lol

  8. Ha ha ha so hilarious! I can't wait for Tito to start talking


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