Thursday, 9 February 2017

Tales Of A Nigerian Mum | Bullies....big bullies!

I loved my primary school *i went to The Fountain School at Surulere, Lagos* and I have some good memories from those years, but I also remember being bullied a couple of times by a classmate or two.....i hated it back then, I hate it even more now.

So imagine my mortification when I went to pick the kids up from school today and Dindu came out looking all sweaty and miserable. I asked him what was wrong and he said a boy in his class hit his eye. He tried to fight back *which explains all the sweat* but the boy apparently had the upper-hand and hit his other eye. I was mad! I immediately went back into the school and asked to speak with the boy, but one of the teachers said he was already handling the matter so I shouldn't bother. I went on home but I plan to have a talk with the school authorities, the boy and their class teacher tomorrow.

I detest bullies!

They are hurtful and mean. They make other people feel hurt, scared and embarrassed. Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry or shouting all the time, so it makes them feel it's normal to act that way. They think it's normal to push people around and hurt them with their words and actions.

There are so many kid-bullies and these kid-bullies grow into adult bullies. Those are some of the worst kind of people, and they are everywhere! They are at the office as unnecessarily wicked superiors. They are online as cyber-bullies. They are on the roads as drivers who cut you off in traffic, bash your car and then try to shout you down. They are everywhere!

See, if your child is a bully, IT . IS . NOTHING . TO . BE . PROUD . OF! Nip it in the bud right now! There's a difference between your child standing up for himself or herself and your child being a little terrorist....terrorizing his or her classmates or any other kids they meet anywhere. Do your research on what to do if your child is a bully and put a stop to that horrible character.

Two summers ago, Dindu was enrolled for swimming lessons. During one of our pool sessions, Dindu and his sisters were splashing around in the pool while waiting for the instructor to come. Then a boy who looked a year or two older than Dindu came and jumped into the pool and made his way to Dindu. Next thing I saw, this child was trying to push and hold Dindu  down in the water! He tried the first time and Dindu wiggled out and away from his reach. He went for my boy again and I saw the fear in Dindu's eyes as he tried as much as possible to stay away from the little bully. This boy didn't know my son from Adam, but he felt it was okay to treat him that way? No, He was not playing with Dindu.... he was bullying him! He kept going for Dindu and Dindu kept wading fast away from him, it was obvious that he wasn't having fun anymore, he had become really uncomfortable. I was so upset, but I sat and watched them intently.I made up my mind right there that if that boy touched my child one more time, I would pull him right out of that pool and whoop his ass very hard.....i didn't care who or what his parents were!

I now teach my kids to stand up for themselves if any child bullies them. Most times, I encourage them to report to their teachers or any adult in sight, but other times I tell them to fight back hard! *no apologies* however, I have warned them not to go out of their way to look for anyone's trouble.

I give my kids pep-talks telling them how brave and strong they are. I tell them not to be scared of anyone. Sometimes I tell them to ignore bullies and not give them attention, but other times I encourage them to stand tall and fight back if the bullies are relentless. Perhaps, if they end up beating up the bully, he or she would have learned a lesson and not bother my child again *i might be using a wrong approach, but excuse me don't you dare bully my child*

Has your child ever being bullied? How did you handle the situation?


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  1. Why shouldn't a child be taught to fight back for how long will parents especially mothers continue to save their children from their mates who are bullies?
    Though one thing I've come to realize is these children (bullies) are passing through some fears the society is yet to discover.

    1. Most bullies actually use that unpleasant attitude to act out what they are feeling inside. Some of them bully others because they were bullied at a point in their lives. Some bully people because their dads are bullies and they are modelling after them. Some also use bullying as a defence-mechanism. It's terrible....really!

  2. The absolute worst are the new crop of bullies facilitated by the internet. Those faceless monsters. People who are spineless and totally insecure. People who are cowards and believe they have an opinion about another person's life. I loathe these ones with every fibre of my being. Welcome to the new world where the new face of bullying are - ADULTS

    1. Oh,the spineless keyboard-warriors who hide behind their phones and computers to spew hate about people who they wouldn't dare face in public. Those ones are sick sickos.

      I just don't understand why an adult would sit in his or her cowardly corner and type hateful things about another human being....all in a bid to seem cool, witty or smart.

  3. I teach my Grace to fight back.Thing is because of where they come from our kids sometimes are so reluctant to do anything when they're bullied.It's sad and most times reporting to teachers doesn't always solve the problem plus them fighting back might aggravate the situation especially if the other child refuses to back down.Many times I approach the child and give them a very stern warning and it doesn't happen again.

  4. Here in the US, u fight, you get suspended


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